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Grief ~ Death of a Spouse

Today would be my late husband’s birthday.  Ray Uhler 5/18/1948 ~ 9/18/2007.  Here he is, when we were very young:

My Ray is the tall, blond guy.  It’s a promo picture for the play Hair (Los Angeles).  Ray played the part of Woof.

Ray was much more than an actor/singer/songwriter.  He was a gifted carpenter and spent most of his life as a residential remodeling contractor.   

He was my husband, my best friend, and a devoted father to our son.  He could come home from an arduous day on one of his construction sites, sweep me off my feet while I was cooking dinner, dance me around the house, dance me back into the kitchen, and help me finish cooking dinner.  Then he spent time with our son, reading and playing games.

Today is his birthday.  People tell me I should be over it after the 2-1/2 years since his passing.  I’m not over it.  Yes, I take care of our son (he was just accepted to UCLA and UC-Berkeley), take care of business, keep a clean house, have lunch with friends, even have taken a couple of vacations.

I have zero interest in dating.  I will never marry again.  Of course, those people have never lost a spouse, never lost their best friend.  Yes, I still grieve.  Especially today.  I don’t grieve all day every day, but I grieve today.

Personally, I think that’s healthy.


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